Growth is not always linear.... a straight line from point A to point B and that is ok!
I am sharing my brush pen progress because I recently have been sharing a side of my calligraphy that I have talked about openly... but I have never really allowed myself to "sit in the discomfort" to allow myself to grow.
If you have been following my journey, you might already know I found calligraphy as a way to cope with multiple diagnosis and symptoms. The list of rare conditions have no cure and symptom management has been a struggle. I started sharing more candidly when I saw some messages from other calligraphers about their own obstacles like hand tremors.... I wanted others to know that I understand when I realized that my silence was contributing to this unrealistic expectation I was portraying.
Many artists can compare side by side pieces to see progress but my reality is more complicated. My unpredictable symptoms are an additional variable that many artists don't have to consider. The bigger realization happened when I saw that my insecurities were actually hurting this misunderstood population by allowing the impression that I have a steady hand and only practice my calligraphy when my symptoms are "better behaved."
Below the top page is my first day of practicing (even if it is just 10-15 min to sit and put pen to paper, the next day is the red and green at the bottom with different brush pens, the next day I chose to stretch my comfort zone by going with the super flexible Pentel Sign Touch XF in blue, the brown unipin was the last completed in this photo and I felt I was struggling with control and assumed it was because I was not used to this newer brush pen
What I was going to discover the next day when I sat down to practice again is that the variable in question was not the new brush pen, it was a flare in my symptoms. In the past, I would have sat down to practice and tucked away the photo below. I allowed myself to not pick apart and analyze the "shaky mess" because it was serving the purpose of helping me quiet my mind and focus on something I had control of:
